In silence, I laid. I was curled up into a ball, drenched in sadness. Sadness that I have never dared to feel. The burden I never dared to lay. But that day, I laid there in silence. And in that silence, I shed my old skin and was born anew in the presence of the mystical mushroom. It is now time for resolving Emotional Blocks with Magic Mushrooms…
Brief History of Psychedelics and thier Healing Power
For longer than we are made to believe, communities around the world have used naturally occurring psychoactive plants and fungi for physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. Psilocybin mushrooms, under ceremonial settings, have been used as medicine for those who searched for a deeper cure. A series of cave art of psychoactive mushrooms were found in the Sahara desert; Aztecs and Mayans ingested mind-expanding mushrooms to connect with the divine; so did the northern people of Siberia who spiritually engaged with Amanita Muscaria; and the list goes on.
However, as we moved further away from the natural order, the healing practice was suppressed, and the therapeutic properties of psilocybin mushrooms were forgotten in the western world. Then, in the 1950s, Aldous Huxley’s The Doors of Perception, which documented his journey on Mescaline, sparked a new wave of psychedelic movements. It gained momentum as many other western scholars actively spoke about the healing potential of hallucinogenic substances. Unfortunately, the pioneering psychedelic research ended abruptly due to the declaration of the war on drugs in the 1970s. In recent years, the second wave of psychedelic therapy backed by clinical research has been gaining increasing prominence in the public sphere. Research shows that magic mushrooms are powerful medicine in treating depression, anxiety, PTSD, and addiction, and more clinical trials are currently being conducted to evaluate its therapeutic potency.
Resolving Emotional Blocks
In my family, emotions were often unlabeled, unwelcomed, and unjustified. Letting out heavier emotions, such as sadness and anger, was considered ‘unproductive’ and ‘burdensome’, an embarrassing act of unnecessarily burdening others with insignificant troubles. So, naturally, I grew distant from acknowledging and feeling emotions, instead kept them like secrets locked somewhere deep in the subconscious.
Instinctively, we fear the unknown. When we brush things under the carpet and push them into the corners of the shadow, is when things gain disproportionate dominance and become scary. The more emotions take up space in the shadowy subconscious, the more power they gain over us. Fear and suppressing emotions form a negative cycle and over time, it gets fixated on as a habitual defense mechanism. The emotional blockages of childhood live on, in the deep subconscious, onto teenage years and adult life.
There is often no easy solution to emotional avoidance and suppressive attitude, as such emotional blockages have roots in generational trauma. To find the missing puzzle in your psychological and emotional wounds, an inevitable place to look is how you felt with your parents in your childhood; how your parents felt with their parents… and the cycle continues. It takes courage and discipline to see through the generational trauma, individual psyche, and social conditioning and to unwire oneself from the complex web of the mind and the system. It is undoubtedly challenging… if done alone. But just as the underground mycelium is connected through an extensive network, we are connected to nature and other sentient beings beyond our imagination. To seek help, I have turned to psilocybin mushrooms.
Healing Emotional Traumas with Psilocybin Mushrooms
Not long after I had taken the mushroom, I found myself lying on the ground. Curled up into a ball, like in the womb of the mother. The body sank naturally into the earth, but unlike the usual heaviness of the body mass, I felt my body shared the same density as the embracing air and soil. This utter surrender allowed emotions that have been suppressed for many years to find an exit.
Throughout the ceremony, many tears were shed, but some sadness needed more than to be cried out, but felt wholeheartedly. My usual resistance to emotions melted as mushrooms reconnected me with nature, and I instinctively felt it was okay to let out my sadness on her. Without the human ego, nature did not judge my flaws or emotions. It was a kind of release that I have never dared myself to open up to: a release of not fearing judgment, not fearing consequences, and not being afraid of facing my emotions.